you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
