handjob tips. give me some.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
