Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
