Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
from now on my penis is your penis
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
