I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
