i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
