I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My penis needs a shock collar
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
