tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize