Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
