Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
