What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize