What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
