You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
