i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
