New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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