I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
