but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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