Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My penis needs a shock collar
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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