You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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