kristin has been a bad kristin
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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