he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
