Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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