summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
