Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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