Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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