she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
love makes seman taste better
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
