You're so nebulous sometimes
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
