trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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