My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
