NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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