You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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