Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
