Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
