If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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