Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
