i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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