Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
