This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
