She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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