did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
