I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Randomize
