...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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