I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
