You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
