this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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