my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
