Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
