We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
