i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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