After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
