She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
