he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
im on a boat
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