Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
