I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The Olympian is in my bed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
