Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
