I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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