hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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