Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
