I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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