Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
