She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize