im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
How external is "for external use only"?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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