Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
