You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
