Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
