this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will be naked everywhere
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
