Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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