Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
