New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
