my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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