I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
