I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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