Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
